YOU FECKLESS TURD
Oh, words. I love you so.
Last night I was listening to the VP debates whilst making dinner when one of the candidates called the other ”feckless”.
Because I wasn’t paying very close attention, I don’t know who it was and I don’t care. This is about the word. A word that I think should be way more popular than it is. (Like actor John Leguizamo. So underused.)
Not gonna lie. I had to look “feckless” up. I knew it wasn’t a compliment. A.) Because I was listening to the debates. and B.) Because it sort of sounds like f*ck…if you’re me.
Here’s how Merriam-Webster defined “feckless”…and props for a little personality, MW:
“Someone feckless is lacking in feck. And what, you may ask, is feck? Feck is a Scots term that means “effect” or “majority” and comes from an alteration of the Middle English effect. So something without feck is without effect, or ineffective.”
Nerd itch scratched.
Now, lest you think I only have love for fancy words, I would like to remind the 2.7 of you who regularly read my blog, that at my old site on Lynda Crotty’s Blah Blah Blog, I celebrated just as hard when Charlie Sheen called someone a “turd”.
God, it’s just so good.
Merriam Webster was a little more straightforward about this word, which I found ironic. You likely know what “turd” means, but to be consistent, and for those of you who just arrived on our planet, here’s that definition.
“Full Definition of turd. 1 sometimes vulgar : a piece of fecal matter. 2 usually vulgar : a contemptible person.”
Imagine if “turd” had followed “feckless” during the debates. That sound bite would have gone viral and given the oft ignored B squad fight a ton of attention. And dare I say, the hurler of the heckle, some street cred. But no one in politics is that brave. You should try it, though! “Feckless” will make you sound intelligent, and “turd” lends the assault a slight hipness by being confidently lowbrow. Plus it’s just faster and more clever than saying, “You are ineffective and contemptible!” which has an uptight Niles-from-Frasier vibe.
Guess it just depends on what you’re going for.
But now you know who to hit up for advice on smart-meets-slang when it comes to verbal abuse.
Happy insulting, you repugnant sluts!